On Sleeping Well

For 10 weeks, Suzianne never slept more than four consecutive hours. Around week 9, she was only sleeping in 1.5 hour stretches.

I prayed, chanted and danced in circles hoping that by some miracle, she’ll learn to sleep at night.

Suddenly, week 11 arrives and she’s sleeping for 6 and 7 hours at a time. As I type this, she’s been asleep 3.5 hours since her last feeding, which was preceded by 7.5 hours of sleep!

And how do I repay her for this amazing, body, mind and soul-rejuvinating rest she’s gifted me? I sneak into her room every few hours to make sure she’s alive.

She is alive, by the way.

I know because I hover over her tiny, swaddled up body trying to peep out some chest movement.

When I don’t see breathing, I poke her.

I POKE MY SLEEPING BABY.

It’s so funny to me how now matter what she’s doing–sleeping, not sleeping; pooping, not pooping–I’m questioning my parenting skills.

Why can’t I just let it be?! 

I AM a good mother, dangit!  

I am also a moron for nearly waking Suzianne up to prove she’s alive while she’s asleep. Geez o Pete.

BUT! I’m now a well-rested moron, so I’ve go that going for me, which is nice.

 

4 thoughts on “On Sleeping Well

  1. Clara is 9 months old, and I still sneak into her room at least 2 or 3 times a night to make sure she’s ok. I’m not sure when that urge to check on them goes away. I think part of it is that we hear so many warnings about sids, it makes us paranoid. So, even though the babies might get a full nights sleep, we still don’t. 🙂

  2. I still do this!! Annaclaire is 14 months and has me perfectly trained. My husband is oblivious to this fact, and I am glad because he would taunt me. His attitude is no noise is good news. Not for this mamma, I need to count some respirations please.

  3. Sorry to say all you Mama’s of wee little ones, my twin boys are 7 and I still check on them every night.
    Mostly to make sure they are breathing and a little to make sure one is not trying to kill the other!

  4. Yep!!! You crack me up. Reading your blog really is déjà vu for me. I did it for the first 9-10 months in the middle of the night. Now just before I go to be unless I have a weird, scary, or strange dream that makes me think something is wrong, then I have to go check. It just means you are a momma for sure!

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